I utilized "remove specifics and convert to ambiguities" by replacing all mention of the cow with simply animal.
I utilized "don't be frightened of cliches" by allowing myself to use the last name Smith in the contract.
I utilized "do something boring" by inserting a full sales contract— complete with too long, round-about phrasing —into the the middle of the story. I used a random template off of Google, and didn't even read the whole thing myself, because it's too long too boring.